Relax, there is no need to start defending your dog’s breed. You can ease your mind and know I do not pinpoint specfic breeds in this article. Instead, I have a list of traits and contexts with dogs that are huge red flags for expecting parents and households with toddlers. Any breed of dog, whether mixed or purebred, a rescue or raised from a pup, abused or spoiled, trained or untrained, raised in a loving home or never been socialized, can fit into any of these three catagories. Ease your mind, sit back, and learn for the sake of your child, grandchild, and dog.
1. Dogs With High Predatory Aggression
Every dog has some prey drive, but dogs with predatory aggression are dangerous around toddlers and children, especially infants. Some characteristics of these dogs are:
-They often stare at a target creature, creep towards it, and then quickly attack it by grabbing the “prey.”
-They are stimulated by high-pitched noises, squealing, baby cries, injured animals, or dog fights. Dogs with this type of aggression often do not display aggression in other areas. It is hazardous because you cannot train, medicate, or counter-condition. Owners are always shocked when the aggressive act gets directed towards things that might not fit into the category of “prey.” The dog is acting on instinctual triggers that may be unexpected. Through much research for my video, Dogs to Diapers, I found numerous accounts documented of dogs grabbing and killing babies in bassinets, sleeping on beds, or even just lying on a blanket next to their moms. Any dog with a history of preying on animals is not safe around infants or toddlers.
2. An Adopted/Rescued/Foster Dog (Without A Known Background From A Reliable Source)
Karen Delise, in Fatal Dog Attacks, says, “It roughly takes two weeks for a dog to adjust to a new living environment.” When adopting a dog from a shelter or rescue, sometimes we can never get the full story of the dog and the previous situation. By law, whoever is surrendering the dog doesn’t have to disclose if the dog has a bite history. Let’s face it; when owners surrender dogs, rarely is it because they are perfect pets. That doesn’t mean they can’t be a fantastic part of your family with proper training and socialization. It usually means the original owner failed to give the dog what it needed to be successful. Still, it takes time to learn the dog’s mannerisms and for certain behaviors to surface. I often hear that people met the dog before they adopted it, and it was great with the other dogs and people at the shelter. That means nothing for when the dog gets settled into their new situation.
The same would go for rescue organizations. Unless this fostered dog was with the owners for a significant amount of time (over four months), I would never trust a rescue dog with an unknown background to be around toddlers or infants. You need to KNOW that this dog was brought up in a home and coexisted without incident in a family that had small children. The term “kid-friendly” is a familiar slogan used in shelters. What type of evaluation was performed on the dog to determine they are “kid-friendly”? Did a child pat the dog a few times, or was he exposed to children loudly running and playing? Was he exposed to crying infant noises? When and how often was this evaluation done? How old were the children involved with the assessment compared to the ages of your children? These are many questions that need definitive answers for your family’s safety. There is a significant difference between a dog accepting petting by a few random kids and a dog raised in a household. For a few hours, tolerating kids is one thing, but living with children 24 hours a day is two different scenarios. Full disclosure of the term “kid-friendly” is crucial before “exposing the dog with your infant/toddler.”
Please DO NOT interpret my advice for caution and research as an attempt to discourage you from rescuing or adopting a dog. That is NOT my intent. I am a HUGE supporter of rescuing dogs. Still, when you have small children at risk, it is not a responsibility to take lightly. Remember, this dog is going through a huge life change, and they will need the proper time to adjust and fit into the family dynamic. Statistics support a high number of dog bites that occur after a family rescues a “kid-friendly” dog. Expecting them to fit right in is naïve, irresponsible, and unfair to the dog.
If you choose this route, set up a management plan for your family to properly integrate your new dog into your household. Take it slow and educate yourself on dog body language to help you know if your new pet is adjusting in a nonstressful way. If you have doubts after bringing home your new pet or something doesn’t feel right, please trust your instincts. Do not feel like a failure; do what is best for your children and that dog. Do not let other people’s opinions jeopardize the safety of your kids. I have witnessed dogs placed in homes with young children that should have never been. Then, when the owners try to bring the dog back to the rescues, they are guilted that the dog will be euthanized or that they have no room to take it back. Then, the owner is put into a situation where they have to drop the dog off at a shelter or try to rehome it. The cycle starts over and over again with the same dog—a broken process like the one above breaks my heart for these dogs and their families.
3. A Senior Dog Or A Dog That Has Health Issues
When I introduced my first daughter to my dog, Ajax, he was ten. I couldn’t wait for my daughter to be raised around dogs, just as I was when I was a child. Ajax was a massive part of my life; I did everything with him, from competitions to vacations. He was even at my wedding and joined us on our honeymoon! I was so excited to introduce them that I documented their first meeting in my film Dogs to Diapers. But it was not the relationship I designed for them in my head. Over the first few weeks, Ajax was very aloof around her. He would show curiosity, but other than that, he wanted his routine and space. It wouldn’t have been organic if I forced a relationship with the two of them. He had no interest in the baby, and my great relationship with him did not automatically transfer to my daughter.
When my daughter started crawling and grabbing, Ajax displayed many avoidance behaviors. I knew I had to intervene to prevent a situation that could leave Ajax to warn the baby of his boundaries. I knew he was older now, and his tolerance had lowered for stress. Every dog has a bite threshold (just like people who can tolerate a certain amount of stressors). It’s essential to know your dog and understand that their limits can change as they age, just like us. You cannot expect a senior dog to tolerate being poked at, stepped on, and crawled over continually. Even if they might have experienced that at a younger age and never had any issues). You can’t expect a toddler to respect the dog without constant supervision to guide the interaction.
I am not advocating that you rehome your senior dog! What ended up working for my family was the use of baby gates when the baby was active. Ajax still felt included, but he spent most of his time napping in peace rather than continually trying to avoid the baby invading his space. Then, when the baby napped or went down at night, Ajax could have freedom in the house. Of course, I was disappointed, but then I realized he was much more relaxed and had fewer things to stress about when I did not force it. I got much more quality time with Ajax by doing activities he enjoyed with the baby, such as stroller walks. Ajax loved going for walks with the baby and me. Ajax started associating her with positive experiences by doing what he wanted. Once he saw me getting his leash ready, Ajax would wait by the door while I prepared the baby for our walk.
The same methods apply to a dog that has health issues. They are already uncomfortable, and the pain could cause their tolerance level and bite threshold to lower. Something as simple as an ear infection could have the dog respond with a nip if being pet by a child in that area. Be cautious and give the dog the appropriate space to avoid situations until you resolve the health issue. You must create a management plan if it is a more permanent health issue like bad hips or chronic allergies.
My childhood adventures with dogs are some of my best memories. It is our job for those memories to be positive, not for our kids to grow up fearing dogs because the family pet bit them. It’s also not fair for a dog to be terrorized by your kids as they age. A healthy relationship between dogs and babies is the most unique gift you can give your dog and kids.
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Delise, K. (2002). Fatal dog attacks: the stories behind the statistics. Manorville, NY: Anubis Press.
